KidsVille announced that due to the overwhelming amount of procreational fucking between Burners, they are adding MidwifeVille, which will be gifting full doula services to Black Rock City.
Now it will be much easier for Burners to give birth on the playa and not miss out on annual Black Rock festivities just because they are becoming parents.
“Just like a dust storm, you can’t always predict when a new baby will arrive,” says Hunka Momma, KidsVille camper and mother of three.
MidwifeVille’s founder and professional doula, Desert Rose, who has overseen home births, water births, and Indian style births, says, “I am elated at the prospect of my first playa birth!”
Old school burner Stork Mama was originally planning to give birth at Reno General Hospital, but was overjoyed when she heard about MidwifeVille. “Now I get the best of both worlds. I can give birth and see the Man burn at the same time!”
The BORG, thinking strategically about the needs of an ever-growing Black Rock City, tapped the shoulder of The Front Porch art car to take over another KidsVille expansion with GrandparentsVille. “We are going to use some funds to create high-tech electric rocking chairs and a real grass lawn that we can yell at kids to get off of,“ said Ol’ Bessie, one of The Front Porch founders.
According to Maid Marion, “Not only will this keep many creepy old men away from the Orgy Dome, it will also provide a perfect space where grandparents can boost our gifting economy and freely spoil inner and outer children without shame.”
To alleviate concerns that GrandparentsVille would simply become BabysitterVille, the BORG is giving subsidies and aid to start BabysitterVille, which will provide housing for low income ticket holders in return for volunteer au pair service work. Free birth control pills will be given to all au pairs. to ensure they don’t return require MidWifeVille the following year.
Of course Burning Man would not be where it is without pragmatism, so GrandparentsVille will also come complete with another sub-camp, AdultdaycareVille, which will be run by sexy nurses. This camp will take over pee funnel distribution and will gift bedazzled adult diapers to campers of all ages willing to party with them. Their program listing reads, “Ain’t no party like an adult diaper party, cause an adult diaper party don’t have to stop (to potty)!”
In the name of both public safety and radical inclusion, it has been determined that CreepyVanVille will be moved to the opposite side of the playa from KidsVille.