We are the Night’s Watch
By the DPW
Dust gathers, and now our watch begins. It shall not end until all the MOOP is picked up, or we run out of cheap booze. We shall take no pay, use no RVs, nor father children that we know about. We shall wear no faux fur and resent the glory reserved for DJs. We shall sneer and look down our collective nose at the lot of you. We are the shovels in the darkness. We are the builders of the perimeter fence. We extinguish the fires and leave you in the cold. We take home the valuable shit you dolts leave behind; we are the players of punk rock that wakes the sleepers, the peering eyes that peep in your tents. We pledge our shitty attitudes and cheap booze to the Night’s Watch, for this night and all the nights to come.
No, we are the Night’s Watch
By the Rangers
Dust gathers, and now OUR watch begins. It shall not end until our last shift is over and we can get the hell to Reno. DPW, you are just the builders of the wall. Who protects the common folk when they hydrate with vodka? Who is actually watching, here? The Rangers, the real Night’s Watch. We will like, literally live and die at our posts without so much as a scrap of gratitude from anyone. We are the sober ones in the darkness. We are the watchers on the perimeter fence. You are all a bunch of lunatic Roose Boltons in black, while we’re the ones who (now) keep the Man safe at night.
We are the light that shines on you whilst you copulate in public, the voice that points and laughs at you for peeing on the playa, the guides who take your fucked up friends to RAMPART. So don’t fuck with us, because remember, a Lannister always pays his debts!