Fed up with today’s throngs of tourists, sparkle ponies, and do-nothing virgins, Curmudgeon Camp has created the biggest, scariest, most burnier-than-thou dinosaur ever…Sanctimonious Rex. Scientists created the ferocious dino by combining the dinoburner DNA of Terriburnorous Rex, Prankosaurus, and Deadheadoraptor, which was extracted from fossilized playa boogers. The gaps in the gene sequences were then filled in with genetic material taken from Charlton Heston’s cold, dead hands.
Camp founder Nedrys Barbisol explains that creating a fearsome creature like S. Rex is worth the risk. “Purists upset with the current state of affairs believe Sanctimonius Rex will bring back the traditions of Burning Man by devouring the tourists and poseurs while berating everyone else to follow the Ten Principles.”
He assures us that the technology is safe and predictable and that nothing bad will happen because there are never any unforeseen accidents or unintended consequences with playing God.