High-maintenance Boyfriend Broken Down Until Further Notice

26 09 2011

(3:00 & Coming Out) – Putting their failing relationship on display, Mads told campmates that his boyfriend Bruce would not be participating until further notice. “He’s in the RV just lying on the bed, complaining about the thread count on the sheets,” Mads said. “I even played I Will Survive for him, but he didn’t shake so much as a hip.”

Bruce’s complaints included the heat, the dust, ruining his Prada shoes, the lack of take-out, the dust, the heat, no Equinox, and way too many disgusting vaginas. “I haven’t seen him this unhappy since Elton John played Rush Limbaugh’s wedding.” Sighed Mads, “This is what I get for dating a guy from Chelsea.”

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