Music Review: New Genre Called CuntStep Mixes Country & Dubstep

20 09 2011

“My wife took my pickup and left me wubbwubbwubb, my dog ran awobblewobblewobble, and thwapthwapthwap, and my whiskey is all gogogogogogowoooooooommmmmmmworkwooomBOOOOOOOMwhapwhapwhapwhapwhapworkingingingigningwubwubwubwubwubbbbbb,” is understandably the hottest new sound to which self-important DJs are masturbating to these days on the Playa.

If you’re on the dustfloor and you hear the heartache of country music mixed with the earache of the wobble, you’ve been cuntstepped. Led by DJ Garth Skrillex, Bo & Luke Doucheous and a rejuvenated Billy Ray Cyrus, its trademark wobble and dark matter are strained through the South and served up with grit.


Boxed Wine “Not So Bad” After Good Line

23 05 2010

Dustgunner Raich and Pantsless Vonesh were delighted and surprised that the $7.99 box of Cabernet they purchased at Albertson’s went down smoothly after a good line of cocaine.

“At first I would’ve said it was simple, overly fruity and sugary, but it really opened up after I put two rails of premium Colombian marching powder up my nose,” said Dustgunner Raich.

“The finish was sublime, and the lack of baby powder in the cocaine responded superbly to the nose of the Cab,” enthused Pantsless Vonesh.

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