Editorial: You *NEED* Me on That Trash Fence.

1 10 2010

Colonel Jessup, MOOP Master

By Colonel Jessup

People, we live in a world with MOOP. And that MOOP has to be contained by people with a trash fence. Who’s gonna do it? Barbie Death Camp & Wine Bistro? Opulent Temple?

I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom in your little non-DPW brain. You weep over having to leave your feather boas at home and you curse shelled pistachio nuts. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that making a trash fence out of plastic, while ironic, probably keeps you from getting red on your MOOP reports. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves the Playa.

You feel entitled to the truth? YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

You don’t want the truth.

Because deep down, in places you don’t talk about on art cars, you want me on that trash fence. You NEED me on that trash fence!

We use words like Green Dot, RNR, Intercept. We use these codes as the backbone of month or two a year defending something. You use them as a punch line.

I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to people who enjoy the MOOPless sunrises at the temple and adventures through the deep playa dressed in bear costumes and fairy wings that I provide, then question the manner in which I provide it! I’d rather you just gift me and go on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a shift and walk the fence!

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7 responses

2 10 2010
Shelley Carlson

I hope the rant makes you feel worthy. Worthy to pick up trash?

3 10 2010
MorTisha

eat a bag o dix shelley. these guys erase your good time from the playa.

15 10 2010
Anonymous

Nicely done,
and yes the light now shineth forth
your presence on the outer limit fence that contains the trash and my soft pink pandered arse need the truth to be bruied deep,
Deep where a fascination with it will not temp me toward the fence and a reality that will scorch my retinas and imprint permanent images upon my very soul.
For god sake keep us safe man and let us speak no more of this matter……

15 10 2010
Grapple

Nicely done,
and yes the light now shineth forth
your presence on the outer limit fence that contains the trash and my soft pink pandered arse need the truth to be bruied deep,
Deep where a fascination with it will not temp me toward the fence and a reality that will scorch my retinas and imprint permanent images upon my very soul.
For god sake keep us safe man and let us speak no more of this matter……

18 10 2010
Danger Bunnie

Sir, yes sir! =;+)

Colonel, you betcha I plan to pick up a shift and walk the fence next year!

Proud to be of Service for The Man! )'(

28 12 2010
Top 10 Stories of 2010 « The Shroom

[…]   Editorial: You NEED Me on That Trash […]

15 08 2011
Nikki

They don’t call me the “MOOPqueen” for nothing! And it helps that I can gear my OCD to picking up trash after many peoples’ careless, lazy asses. (Not that they all are…but many just don’t CARE to be AWARE what they are letting fly away!)

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